also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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