A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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