Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
