South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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