Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Randomize