Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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