Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize