Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
