yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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