I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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