So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
