In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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