and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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