I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
