He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
