Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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