Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
