She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
