What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have fence marks all over my body
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
