somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize