I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
