I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My nipple is on Facebook.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
