He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
