My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
