Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
