i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I intend to get homeless drunk
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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