How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
