As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
