I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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