there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
