you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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