it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He literally asked permission to hit on me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
