Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
