Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
