How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
