you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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