these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
