I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
