Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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