Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
