don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
