Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
as a side note pls kill me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
