At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
