the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
