Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
