you guys were way drunker than both of me
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
