Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
