one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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