If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
