Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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