The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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