: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
