Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think people are normalizing furries
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
