i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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