Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
