Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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