oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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