Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
