i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
