She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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