I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize