dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
